1. Wherever you go in the world, there just won’t be enough pubs
2. Definitely not as many old
3. Atmospheric
4. Cosy ones, as you’d like
5. Wherever you go will feel a little ‘lacking’ in jaw-dropping castles
6. And things won’t feel quite as Royal as they should be
7. And it will all just feel a bit too modern when you’re not living half your life in a period drama
8. You’ll always feel too far away from this
9. And dessert will now always feel a bit ‘light’
10. And guys won’t seem as polite
11. Sarcastic
12. Or make you laugh as hard as you’d like
13. And the girls won’t be as polite
14. Sarcastic
15. Or make you laugh as hard as you’d like
16. Because the spring will never seem as green
17. And glorious
18. And tea won’t quite be how it’s meant to be
19. Every garden you come across won’t seem quite so charming
20. Or fussed over
21. And the obsessions you come across won’t seem quite so quaint
22. Or eccentric
23. Or just plain weird
24. You’ll yearn for a passion for mischief
25. And silliness
26. But you’ll feel that when it comes to playing fair
27. Things just aren’t quite cricket, elsewhere
28. You’ll know that somewhere there’s a place where organising who’s next is a neat, stress-free affair
29. Now, wherever you go, you’ll ask yourself ‘why all this shouting?’
30. And beeping of horns?
31. And the polite ways you’ve picked up mean from now on you’ll always miss out on the last crisp, or slice of pizza
32. And on a Sunday you’ll forever more feel an ache: this is what I need
33. And after a few drinks, an undying craving will emerge
34. The weather just won’t seem like the fascinating topic of conversation it used to be
35. And no one will make you feel better about feeling bad – by feeling worse than you
36. When you’re elsewhere and the sun comes out you’ll wonder why there isn’t a spontaneous festival
37. And when the drinks are flowing you’ll miss the euphoric, surreal and sweet vibe of a British party
38. And everyone acting as if not much happened the next morning
39. And most of all, you’ll forever more, after the night before, be missing one of these
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