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SOUTHERNdarkANGEL says:
A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to Be Confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner and a bucket.
'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of Minutes Of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest In High-powered Vacuum cleaners.'
'Go away!' said the old lady. 'I haven't got any money!', 'I'm Broke!' And she proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and Pushed Wide open. 'Don't be too hasty!' he said. 'Not until you Have at Least seen My demonstration.' And with that, he emptied a Bucket of horse Manure on to Her hallway carpet.
'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse
Manure From your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the
Remainder.
The old lady stepped back and said, "Well, I hope you've got a real good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning.
What part of broke do you not understand?"
SOUTHERNdarkANGEL says:
kids are quick ...
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have
today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's
cherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louis
do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the
same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog.
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps
on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.
iluvchocolatbutguysmor says:
this iz one of the best ppl u can know i love her to death...the only fault she has iz her ability 2 remember 2 call u back but u gotta love her
