||Donnie Darko. A Clockwork Orange. Crash. Spun. Kids. 13.|
|Top Movie Genres:
||Action, Children's, Comedy, Documentary, Drama, Family, Fantasy, Horror, Music, Mystery, Romance, Romantic Comedy, Suspense, Thriller|
|Top Music Genres:
||Blues, Broadway, Classical, Country, Hard Rock, Pop/Rock, Rap/Hip-Hop, Soundtrack|
||"Shine bright for yourself, hold strong for your beliefs, no matter how much you may bleed along the way. " |
||Someone to talk to|
Friendship with a guy
Friendship with a girl
||A good personality. Sense of humor. Tattoos. piercings. Pretty eyes. Muscles. Good taste in music.|
Hi. I'm Hillary Paige and i've been in this world 16 beautiful years. I play my cards close to my chest, I've realized letting people know what hand I have doesn't do me any favors. I知 happy with my life. I知 really down to earth. I give everyone a chance, and if you break it, I値l keep giving them to you. I don't want to change the world, I just want to change myself. I wanna feel too much. I wanna live too much. I wanna love too much. So much that it hurts. I'm single. I'm in love with love. Well, the idea of it. I just gave up on it a long time ago. In my life, I've never seen it prove itself true. The only true unconditional love I have found is from God. I知 most cases i'm usually described as a little bit of everything. I will not change for anyone but myself. I'm too nice, and it gets me taken advantage of alot. I have dreams and opinions. They have disappeared more quickly over the past few years. Maybe i'll tell you them on a cold autumn day.
I'm slowly growing up. I've finally began to accept the harsh fact that I live in the real world, and that I can not always remain this sheltered little girl in a Peter Pan fairytale. It's not going to be the easiest journey. I'll make mistakes, more than my share of bad choices, i'll let people down, and i'll lose friends that I would literally die for today. At the moment, i'm still uncertain about where i'm headed. I've got to learn to let go, to take risks, and to escape from my comfort zone. My choices may not be the best, but it's okay because they have never been the greatest anyways.
Chances are, you値l give up on discovering who I really am. Im a mess of contradictions. I don稚 understand why people have to make themselves feel uncomfortable just to fit in. I wear my scars like a badge of courage, rather than carrying them like a wall of shame, whether it's physical or mental. I strive to get what I want. I believe that despite all of the broken dreams, it's still a beautiful world. I love music. It's not my life, but it is a huge part of it. Notes can explain feelings when no words can be found. I don't hold a large amount of people close to me, I致e been screwed over by too many to trust more than a handful. I don't have a "family of friends" so to speak. I have a few close friends that I would lay down and die for. There are amazing people out there, and i believe i've met the most important of them all.I have thousands of acquaintances that I consider replaceable. I don't hold back. I'm a very in your face, honest human being. I would much rather bring my problems that I have with you to you, rather than talk about them behind your back. I'm the most extroverted introvert you will ever meet. I prefer being with people, but I get uncontrollable cravings to be curled up, in my room by myself often.
I like to write. I'm not the best, but it's a passion. I would die for my best friends. I waste my paycheck on designer brands you'll never see me wear. I'm always in jeans and a band t shirt. I'm a Christian. I believe there is so much more to life than myspace. Drugs are tempting sometimes. I party. Sometimes maybe a little too hard. I'm obessed with piercings. I love the city in the rain. New Orleans is my favorite place. I read about 5 books a day if I choose too. I skydive on the weekends. I leave the state and take a roadtrip if it rains. I hate school. I play the piano, the keyboard, the flute, and i'm working on the guitar. So, i'm always ready to chat.
I can't concentrate on one thing for long periods of time. I get bored easily and my mind wanders into a different universe. I spend too much time wandering in my own thoughts and pondering my existence. I live above the tangible most of the time. I have a hard time respecting those who take everything in the literal sense, who take everything for face value and never question anything, the people who claim to know who they are. No one will every know who they are. We are constantly evolving, constantly changing. The robots of our time make me uncomfortable in my own skin. For this reason, I sometimes convince myself that I should have existed in another time. I think I would feel more comfortable if I didn't live in this time period of conspiracies and hypocrisies. I make the best of it and try to live my life through a realistic lense. Pessimists and optimists live on two dangerous extremes that I hope to never touch. Each extreme can severely cripple you in the long run. I hope to break free of any chains that hold me back someday.
here's to the girls.
This one's for the girls who you can take home to mom, but won't because it's easier to sleep with a whore than foster a relationship; this is for the girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for a moment, or never real to begin with. This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart and bed, only to discover that he's just not ready, he's just not over her, he's just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that they don't want you, it's that they don't want anyone. This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone to cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you've returned home alone, for the nights when you've seen him from across the room leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girls he's with to be a random hookup. This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn't that he didn't want a relationship: it was that he didn't want you. I honor you for the night his dog died or his grandmother died or his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted just right, or said the right words, or rubbed his back in the right way then perhaps he'd realize what it was that he already had. This is for the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.
||February 15, 2005 7:08 PM
||Over a year ago