posted May 26, 2009 03:05 PM by
rickweberAs I am writing this,
The California Supreme Court just ruled that we have gay marriage; but only for the 18,000 couples who married before Prop 8 passed. You can read the complete ruling
here.
My hope is that we keep this in perspective. This is the same court that struck down the state's ban on same-sex marriage
last year. Their ruling is what prompted Prop 8 to be created in the first place. I understand that people are angry, I am too, but I hope people keep in mind what Margret Cho (a favorite comedian of mine) said following the ruling, "I am outraged and disgusted, but this is only a momentary setback. We will soon win back this right and the victory will be even more thrilling because we had to fight so hard to get it."
We won in that gay marriage happened in California. For a short time, couples who had waited for the day they could get married saw it in their lifetime. Many didn't think that day would come. It did come, and those couples who live in Iowa, Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, and Vermont got to have their wedding day too. We are not losing.
Shortly after the Prop 8 decision broke, people started protesting immediately.
I want you to be angry, and I want you to protest, but I also want you to protest peacefully. Use your anger to create rather than destroy. Like you, I am angry, and I'm angry because I am tired of being told that my love is less than. I am disturbed by this trend of other people voting on whether or not I can marry my partner. I find it absurd that these bills are put forth because they undermine & pervert democracy in this country. People should be concerned when the majority's will (all 52% of it in this case) is imposed on the rest of us like these bans are. Unless I get to vote on Tony Perkins' marriage or Miss California's marriage, it's unfair.
Last week, I talked about the Miss California story. In the press conference in which Donald Trump crowned her, he said that her answer to the gay marriage question was the same as Barack Obama's. I call bullshit on this one. Obama has largely been silent on GLBTQ issues up to this point; and while he has said he believes marriage is between a woman and a man, he supports civil unions for all couples with equal rights under the law, and he has not aligned himself with groups like Focus on the Family as Ms. Pejean has. There is a difference in having being prejudice and actively seeking to disenfranchise a minority group. It is no longer "we agree to disagree" when legislation is passed to deprive me of rights. You have the right to believe differently than I, but I don't have to accept you marginalizing me and my friends and family. I thought Marie Osmond, a member of the LDS church and mother of a lesbian echoed that sentiment well when she said, "Everybody has a right to believe what they believe," but ultimately, "everybody has a right to have civil rights."
As we protest, we should also be aware that our community is not the GL community, there's a BTQ (and a billion other letters) part of our community too. Gays and lesbians are not the only one's being deprived of rights. We should also be weary when our trans brothers and sisters are deprived of their rights too. In
Tennessee a couple's marriage was invalidated when the state decided to place Jo back into the male box, despite changing her birth certificate, driver's license, and having corrective surgery. She married her husband Jeff in 2007, and this year her marriage will not be honored because the state claims that she is a man, therefore because Tennessee does not recognize same-sex marriage, it won't be recognizing Jo & Jeff's.
This is a fight that has been going on for a long time. Sometimes I feel like we're gaining ground, and other times I am reminded of just how far we have to go. This week I'm going to be speaking to a Human Growth and Development (Psychology) class on issues of gender, sexuality, discrimination, and a whole bunch of other topics. This June I will be going to our state's gay pride event where Cleve Jones (friend of Harvey Milk's & creator of the AIDS quilt) will be our Grand Marshall. In between that time I'd like to attend at least one protest if there is one. There are many different ways of being an advocate, and I urge you to find your way, and to never allow yourself to be bullied into silence.
Just to add a little humor to a heavy hearted subject, here's another lovely parody of The National Organization of Marriage's ridiculous "Gathering Storm" ad.
A Gaythering Storm
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