Marriage. It's just a word, but it is a word that gets very strong reactions from a lot of people. To many, it represents the joining of two people, usually a male and a female, in a religious ceremony under the blessing of God. To others, it is a way of making their relationship legitimate, a way for them to get mutual benefits, and to grant them certain rights. Still others see it as a right of all people to engage in, gay or straight, to showcase their love for their friends and family.

Personally, I agree with the religious right. This may be unpopular and non-politically correct for a gay man to say, but I agree that marriage SHOULD be between a man and a woman, if that is what the majority of religious institutions want. Marriage started as a religious event, and I think it should continue as just that, a religious event. That does not, however, mean that I believe gays and lesbians should be refused equal rights and protections under the law. Quite the opposite actually. I feel that marriage should no longer be a legal matter. If you dissolve the legal standing of marriage, you dissolve the reason the word polarizes so many.

This is what I propose. Instead of using marriage as the benchmark for relationships, and for granting rights to couples, instead use civil unions. Allow anyone to get a civil union, and make hose unions equivalent to what marriage is today. Grant them the same spousal rights in terms of visitation, inheritance, next-of-kin, legal standing and insurance benefits. If you provide an equal footing for everyone, nobody cares what you call it.

Now, I'm not saying we should get rid of marriage completely. What I'm proposing is redefining it. I personally believe that if a man and a woman want to get married, they should be allowed to do so in a church with the priest of their choosing. I don't, however, think that that union should be given any legal rights. Priests and religious leaders the world over keep saying that marriage is a religious thing, and that they should not be required to perform it for people they feel are unworthy. I say, give them their religious marriage. I'll take my legal Union.

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